Just for clarity, this is not Abba. However, Abba is the kind of woman who tells stories you wouldn't believe, except that you know her and know that this stuff really does happen. The world will not be complete if she saves these only for those few people fortunate enough to hear them in person (and generally in an inappropriate setting).

As I write this, Abba is mocking me and so I'm concluding her introduction. Enjoy.